Bonus Child!

Bonus Child 2I am a stepmom and a stepgrandma.  I’ve been a stepmom for almost 28 years.  I’ve been through the good and the bad.  I know a little about this subject.

The new phrase is “Bonus Child.”  I like it.  It fits, but only if you want it to.  You see, the dynamic of a blended family can be either miserable or rewarding.  It takes work.  I made mistakes with my stepdaughters over the years and trust me, you don’t want to live with that guilt.

What I have found are some of the keys to step-parenting:  know your place – I’m not their mother, I am their father’s wife; and also, encourage your significant other’s relationship with their children.  I give to him, what I expect back.  My children come first.  After all, they actually came first.  Doesn’t it make sense that I would have greater respect for my husband when I witness what a fantastic father he is?

I spent some time with my step-grandkids last weekend.  I was showing photos of my bio-grandkids to one of my step-granddaughters and mentioned to her that I have 3 grandchildren when she quickly corrected me – I have 11 grandkids!  I’m happy that this sweet child sees me as her grandma.  Kids don’t see DNA, they see love.

I encourage you, if you’re in a blended family, support your significant other’s bond with their children.  Be a safe place for your stepkids to come and share their lives with you.  Do it right from the beginning.  It’s worth it.



Feelin’ Alright…

It’s been 6 weeks since my surgery and this past week I have felt more normal than I have since before the surgery.  I had a follow up visit with my endo doctor a few weeks ago and asked her about brand vs generic meds (my insurance only covers generic) and she explained how generic batches will vary, depending on which maker the pharmacy uses for each refill, whereas brand (Synthroid) is consistent and while I am trying to find my correct levels, varying doses isn’t a good thing so she gave me a month’s worth of brand to try and I believe that’s the reason I’m feeling better.  You get what you pay for and I’ll pay the extra to feel better.

Feeling better can be difficult in the lack-of-a-thyroid world.  You won’t understand unless you’ve gone through this.  For me, it means I can think clearer, my memory is better, I am motivated, I feel the stirring emotions when I hear my favorite songs from days gone by, or when I see my grandkids.  It means I am my living life…..not just existing.

The past year has been a year of enlightenment.  I have found that some of the tough times I have been though have led me to moments that have forced me to open up and be real about who I truly am.  This is a good thing.  This health scare has been one of those tough times.  Life is fragile.  I try to reach out to those I care for and hope I can convey to them how important they are to me.  I need to know I have at least tried.

Spring is here in the desert southwest.  The wildflowers are popping up across the desert – beautiful puffs of yellow dot the landscape, the critters are falling in love, and that delightful feeling of spring has sprung.  A few 90° days have been a reminder of how quickly spring will be gone.  I’m grateful for Spring.

I choose gratitude.  I choose to love deeply and be kind.  I am avoiding cynicism. Life is better this way.