He Looks Familiar

I’ve been babysitting two of my grandkids this week. My granddaughter is 9 and her brother is 1. The 9 year old is pretty self-sufficient and a blast to hang out with. Every morning while she’s getting ready for school we find a song to sing and dance to. The 1 year old is a bundle of energy and is keeping me on my toes. He has rearranged the furniture daily, many times a day. He is a curious one. I am keenly aware of why we have babies when we are young. He is just so, so sweet, loving, and the cutest thing ever!

I have babysat the kids before but this is the first time I’ve had both for an extended time. As we go throughout our day the thing that keeps striking me most about my grandson is how much he resembles my daughter. I have always thought he did but spending so much time with him, I am seeing it so much more. It is like taking a trip back in time and seeing my baby girl again. It’s joyful, makes my heart happy, but oddly enough, it is a tad-bit (tiny, tiny bit) sad. I miss when my kids were babies and this just reinforces that feeling. I will say though that I delight in the fact that he looks so much like his momma. My granddaughter does too to some degree, but she has more of her father’s features than the baby does….at least at this point. As we all know, babies change almost daily so it will be interesting to see how much he looks like my daughter when he’s older.

I’m glad my daughter and her hubby are able to get away, and I’m most especially grateful that they have entrusted me with their precious children.

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Storms

I stayed up late last night watching the lightning show the monsoonal storm provided.  It did not disappoint.  There was a moment where there was a break in the clouds and I could see a distant star next to a towering cloud which was lit up in white and orange as the lightning would occur.  I watched this until the clouds came together and the star disappeared.  It was one of those humbling moments; a moment where I was keenly aware of just how small I am in this great big universe.

Sometimes we get a bit caught up in ourselves and forget to just watch the storm.  We are big in our own minds, but in reality, we are but a microscopic spec in this world.

It’s good to be reminded.  It puts much into perspective – what is real vs. what is fabricated by this crazy world we live in.

I’m thankful for the storms.

Can I Handle the Seasons of My Life…

There is this thing that sometimes happens in life as you get older – you take over the parent role and your parent is like your child.  It is difficult, at best, and at times heartbreaking.  When making decisions for my 87 year old mother, knowing that it is in her best interest, and she fights it, just like a young inexperienced teenager, it can become depressing.  As Mom’s POA, I take my responsibilities very serious.  Her well-being is first and foremost …..even when it makes her angry at me.

The stress meter is up in the red section of the dial.  Sigh.

My mother recently moved in with my sister as she needs help throughout her day for many reasons.  Mom is legally blind, needs a walker to get around, can’t recall when/how much of her meds she’s taken, etc.

My sister’s world has completely changed also.  It isn’t easy to tend to an elderly parent who doesn’t want to understand why certain choices have been made for her.  My sister has the day-to-day contact and I am most appreciative of her and the sacrifices she and her husband are making.

Love isn’t always easy.