Question

Do you wake up each morning and think to yourself, what can I do to ensure I have little or no regrets today?  I usually wake up and think about how much time I have to get to work.   Then, I hurry out the door to face the traffic.  Weaving in and out, everyone in competition of who can be at the head of the pack.  I confess, I attempt to be in the lead most mornings.  In that competition there is often frustration.  I arrive at my office long before anyone else and am typically a little frazzled.  The office is dark and quiet and implores me to slow down and relax.  It’s in that moment where I have realized I regret my hurried actions.  I quietly turn on the lights, open the office up for the day and begin to organize my workload.  It is a wonderful time in the morning before anyone arrives and all I hear are my thoughts…. or the song that is in loop in my head.  At the end of my workday, I leave and head back to the same road I was on forgetting about my early morning regret.  It’s a crazy cycle and I’m a bit tired of it.  I regret allowing this never-changing, endless circumstance in my life to cause me angst.

Having some regret in life is unavoidable; be it something as simple as that extra piece of pizza or something life-changing, like a lost love.  I think the goal is to try to avoid making poor decisions, which requires discipline – being in control.  Human tendencies make developing that habit an everyday effort.

There is a song I love and this morning the lyrics are running over and over again in my head:

I’m looking for someone to change my life

I’m looking for a miracle in my life

Perhaps that someone is me.  Perhaps I can create my own little miracle and learn to slow down, learn to discipline my thoughts, what I speak and how I react.

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Thunder only happens when it’s raining….

Perhaps it is living in the desert southwest that makes me appreciate it, or perhaps it is simply deeply ingrained into my soul but I love the rain. I love a big, loud thunderstorm. The monsoonal flow has been alive and active the last week and all I want to do is follow the storms. Stuck in an office keeps me feeling like I need to do something else, as if I’m forgetting something, but it is simple – let me out of this office so I can be where the rain is falling.

I grew up listening to fabulous stories my grandfather would tell of the storms he witnessed in Tornado Alley. I think I chose this life and this family to hear those stories! He told many stories but his storm stories were my favorites. As a child, I would dream vivid dreams of storms and tornadoes. I’ve seen a few tornadoes in my day but I can’t seem to get enough of the beauty that this earth can create.

I will relish in these days of the monsoonal storms while I can. I will watch the lightening and count…. waiting for the thunder, anticipating the number will shorten in hopes the storm is getting closer. I will be excited for the land as it soaks up the moisture and the plants and wildlife flourish.  I will be grateful for the storms.