I got this!

Reading my last blog, even I got a little depressed.  I recall feeling that way but fortunately time has been my friend.  Each day is getting a little bit easier.  I have good days and not as good days.  I’ve conceded that this is my new norm; frequent blood work to ensure my T4 (thyroid talk) levels are what they should be.  I’m hopeful that my two remaining parathyroids (thyroidectomy talk) will begin to function on their own and calcium supplements won’t be a part of my daily routine for the rest of my life.  Again, part of my new norm.  Another part of my new norm is knowing that I will no longer fear the growths on my thyroid are cancer and also, the realization that I cannot survive without my meds, that I am fortunate to live in a country where I can easily obtain the medication necessary to thrive without this vital gland.  My new norm.

A public thank you to my doting husband who has taken incredible care of me throughout this journey.  As I’ve navigated through these crazy couple of weeks, at times sobbing like a lunatic as my brain adjusts, Rick has been my rock – anything I wanted or needed he has been there for me.  He is a rare breed.

Woe is me

My world has changed.  It is hard to wake up each day and feel like someone else. I’m not me.  It wouldn’t be so difficult if I was a better version of me, but that’s not the case.  I’m numb most of the time and sad the other. It sucks.

I listen to my favorite songs and don’t feel the emotions they typically stir.  I am depressed and feel lonely and that is not at all my normal self.  The only thing that gives me a bit of joy are my kids and my grandchildren.  Thankfully, that love isn’t lost.

My hope is this is only temporary.  Having a total thyroidectomy, and particularly the medicine required after, throws the body into a tailspin.  My head is in a fog.  I could sleep for days.  Once or twice a day for a brief moment I feel normal.  But that is fleeting.

I pray to whoever is listening that my life will eventually be back to my old normal and that this mess isn’t my new normal.

I will most likely be intermittent with my blog while I recuperate and get used to this.